Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
