so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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