GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
