a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
