Screwed.edu
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
