you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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