her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
