But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
did you just send me my own nude
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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