there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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