VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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