I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
