So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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