She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I love you. Go after that dick
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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