There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize