I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
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