I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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