I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
