i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
