Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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