i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
