OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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