there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
