Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
