Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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