i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Blood and glitter go together right?
3pm strippers are depressing
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
