I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
