so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
