I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
