so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
