I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
