On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
