With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
