brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
