I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
there was a trapeze. enough said
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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