My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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