let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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