his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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