I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
