so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
