69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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