Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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