Have you finally orgasmed yet?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize