The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
