singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
