no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
