OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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