Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
