where does the pee come out of this thing
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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