we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
