HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
