my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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