its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
