turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
