this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
