then he tried to convert me to islam
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
