i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize