I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize