omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
