Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
