We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
