hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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