I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
