he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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